Learning How to Let Go: Social Media Blackout Results

For my closing post in the series about the results of my 100 day social media blackout, I’d like to talk about one of the best side effects of this experiment. And that is? Learning how to let go.

As I mentioned in an earlier post this week, I talked about how I was hypersensitive to people using exaggerated personas on social media to sell their books. Today, I’d like to point out that you, too, may be hypersensitive to things online in the form of comments, articles and headlines.

In the grand scheme of things, what is a bad comment worth to your life? Your business? Would you let a crappy review ruin your day? How ’bout a headline that you never clicked through?

Forums, mailing lists, comments, etc. are going to incur negative comments along with positive ones. The more popular you are, the bigger your business is, the chances of less-than-ideal comments increase. It’s not necessarily a sign of progress, it’s a sign that you’ve attracted the other end of the bell curve.

Having worked with as much data as I have, I normally don’t care about the one comment because I treat them as outliers. What I look for are patterns as opposed to the one-off snarky remark. Yes, I’m human — not an android — so comments made by people who obviously didn’t read through an article or have a knee jerk reaction based on a crappy assumption get under my skin.

But not as much as before.

I now feel that a good social media strategy — whether it be personal or professional — needs to include periods of black out or times when the social media/community manager is not online. The idea of constant connectivity and notifications might sound like it’d benefit you, but after this experiment I’m finding that it will actually hurt you over the long haul. Why? Simply because you run the risk of overreacting the more connected you are. You become, as I did with personas or as others have with comments, hyper-reactive.

The consequences of being hyper-reactive aren’t always good. Sometimes, people feel creeped out if they make a complaint and you’ve magically commented on their Twitter feed or Facebook page. Other times, it’s “expected” that you do. Other times, your comment may come across as talking down to that person or be overly sarcastic.

The other toll that this takes on you, may be in your writing. Timing is important to social media, but for articles? That aren’t ephemeral? It can really chip into the way your prose flows on the page and what words you use. This is especially true if you “trick for a click.”

I’ve often mentioned to companies and individuals that the best way to manage expectations is to have a social media or community policy. I cannot stress enough how important this is for everyone involved in a social media profile. I cannot. If someone is obligated to log in offline or respond to something twenty-four seven — that needs to be clearly stated because the other side of that? Is that monitoring also comes into play and that takes time. Perceptions can ruin relationships, so having these things in place before disaster strikes can help facilitate better discussions and positive expectations.

For many reasons, if anything this experiment has taught me that there is value in being offline. Like anything, having a good perspective requires balance and the ability to let the small stuff go. Without that, well… that’s when you may find yourself as frustrated with the tools as I was.

Hope you enjoyed the coverage of this experiment and the results.

Prioritize By Value: Social Media Blackout Results

So yesterday I talked about how all signs pointed in a positive direction during the one-hundred day social meida blackout. Today, I’m going to bring up something I saw in action: the need to prioritize by value.

When you’re working in a creative field, it’s not like being on an assembly line. You don’t constantly produce every minute you’re in front of your computer. Some writers, like myself, often research, plot and think without ever touching our fingers to the keyboard. Others are different. When I do write, I write very quickly and a lot all at once. Even then, I don’t write the same way for every project all the time. Sometimes I have to change location. Sometimes there’s a broken plot thread that I have to address, so I move on to another story in the meantime.

Bringing this back around to the topic at hand, after being off of social media for so long, I wound up restructuring my time without even realizing it. I was, in a sense, performing the same consulting tasks I’ve done for other people based on the value or the activity’s pay-off — financial, emotional, etc. — to myself.

In this way, when I got back online, I was able to manage not only how much time I spent on it, but whether or not I could learn how to use Google+ or care about the latest “fail” or “trend.” That information is still valuable — especially for content creators that rely on that information to be relevant. While some trends are important to me, the micro-trends that happen hourly or daily are “here today, gone tomorrow.” Since I am not writing about trends, if I come across them I take them into account. If I don’t? I’m not missing anything.

Although I’ve been writing from my perspective, I recognize you’ll have a different idea about all of this than I will.Check out an article on ApexBookCompany.com called: “Beaten to death on the social network.” It’s a different perspective on this, but I think you’ll find it interesting.

[My New Column] Dice Castle: From Commoner to Freelancer…

I am pleased to announce that my first column has been published at Geek’s Dream Girl. Since the site already had articles written about the topic, I decided to take a different approach and turn a commoner into a freelancer. For once-a-month we’ll be headed to Dice Castle.

This first column talks about character creation.

Before we head out on our quest to Dice Castle, there are a couple of things we need to figure out. First? We’re going to take a look at your character sheet to see what’s already there. Oh, and for those of you who decide to min/max this process? There will be some opportunities for that, too. You’re a Commoner at the moment, but with any luck you’ll be a Freelancer in no time. So sayeth the GM, so shall it be done. — SOURCE: Calling All Freelancers! Adventure to Dice Castle at Geek’s Dream Girl

Then, I go on to provide some tips and insight into the industry to help a budding freelancer dispel some of the myths and figure out what they want to do.

Things like:

  • Penning fiction is not the same thing like writing flavor text.
  • I think this series will be good for people who need something a little more hands-on when they’re thinking about freelancing. By turning it into a workshop, I hope I’ll be able to reach a few writers and help them plan for their future.

    Check it out!

    Bump in Stats: Social Media Blackout Results

    I don’t have a ton of time today, so I won’t be able post a ton of graphs like I wanted to, but I did want to talk about the fact that all of my stats: e-book sales, RSS/web traffic and social media followers (with the exception of Twitter) went up.

    • My RSS feed subscribers increased by twenty percent.
    • My newsletter subscribers increased by fifteen percent.
    • My overall traffic (comparing the same time frame to the previous) went up by ten percent.
    • Book sales for Paths of Storytelling, which was a collaborative work I contributed to, hit a milestone sales status on DriveThruRPG.
    • Book sales for non-new releases like The Queen of Crows continued to trickle in.
    • My Twitter followers decreased overall by 50 followers whereas my Facebook friends increased by 125 (combing personal and the fan page I set up).

    Combined, what this data tells me is that the conventional wisdom holds true. Content is valuable and to get more “out of” your content — you need to watch where you put it.

    Before I went on this blackout, I said that it’s not a good idea to put content that is archive-worthy on Twitter or Facebook. It’s better to house it on your own website because then, by owning the content, you draw people back to “your house.” You’re not partying in someone else’s mansion with your own crystal. To me, these stats prove that. Content is worth something.

    The Twitter followers could have gone down either because I wasn’t engaging people in conversation or Twitter updated their spam filters. I’m assuming Facebook went up because the way their algorithm works? You only see a fraction of the people you’ve friended anyway and you have to keep futzing with the controls to get your view working right. Not to mention, the abandonment of a Facebook friend takes more effort than a simple “unfollow.” In some ways, FB is harder to maintain once you get into it.

    The other thing this tells me, is that now when I figure out a cost/benefit analysis for the work it takes into increase social media followers versus website visitors — I can better assess what’s worth the effort and what’s not.

    Monitoring, measuring, accessibility and analyzing social media are a few of the hidden costs of being ON social media. (With or without e-mail notifications, you still need to know the trends to stay relevant and sound genuine.) But, like research for an article, it’s a cost that can be taken for granted.

    Then add the money statement on top of that: List three reasons why I am using these tools.

    Here’s mine BEFORE the blackout:

    1) Connect with readers

    2) Network/Communicate with industry folk

    3) Touch base with family and friends

    Here’s mine AFTER the blackout:

    1) Be a part of the community

    That’s it. Why?

    Because no one is “just” one thing. As much as people whine and moan about hearing what someone had to eat or listening to them talk about their illnesses or grandmother’s community or stamp their feet about the so-called rules of engagement… it wouldn’t be social media otherwise. You can’t build networks of people and expect them to follow all of the social rules that typically don’t incur negative results.

    Now, if you started charging people for being trolls on the other hand…

    I think the interesting thing for many people isn’t figuring out what they want to get out of social media, but how best to interact within the neighborhoods they feel most comfortable in.

    By the way… I was curious to see if anything changed, so I was watching my Twitter stream on my second monitor today. Three fails. Oy.

    I have to tell you, even though I knew intellectually what was valuable and what wasn’t, I didn’t really feel comfortable sticking with my own advice until I removed the tool I was abusing myself.

    Cutting Through the B.S. – Social Media Blackout Results

    And now for a special announcement: today’s post is written with Sarah Peduzzi in mind. Sarah? This one’s for you…

    It took approximately one week for me to strip out all the noise, de-people, and refresh my mind. After seven days of social media silence, I started to feel like I was missing out and that second week was rough. I felt like I was on walk-a-bout and I left a community.

    Then another week went by and something weird happened. The random thoughts that entered my brain had nothing to do with the latest “fail,” privacy policy debacle or the latest book release. They didn’t even relate to my stories, even though they’re always there.

    I started seeing color — and not in that psychedelic-you’re-doing-acid kind of a way. And then I started drawing again and designing jewelry and painting and…

    Somewhere in between a jump ring and a stolen paintbrush (one of my kitties really likes them…), I reached that moment of nirvana. “This is [f-bomb] cool,” I said.

    And then? (insert drum roll here) I looked at my work. And I was in awe of self. I was back, baby. All that stupid b.s. I was going through where I’d freeze at my monitor and second-guess my work was gone, gone, gone.

    And all I needed — all I ever needed — was to put down the shiny tools and breathe. Pay attention to my surroundings. Listen to the voices in my head.

    And just be natural about it.

    I’m the type of writer who loves the word “interstitial.” I draw maps. I draw characters. I have all the tools to start crafting a grimoire for my urban fantasy setting. I’ve got a song I wrote for that zombie story you may have heard me mention several bazillion times before.

    None of these things have been released to you, the reader, but they exist in my haven. I need/crave/live on stories because they have a life of their own. They become meaningful in a way that I can’t even begin to explain. But it’s right there, it’s attached to me and it’s something that has gone beyond the pale. At that point, it’s not about making money or getting published or being famous or whatever… It’s about being a storyteller and understanding what. that. means.

    Sometimes, the business stuff gets in the way of being a writer. Sometimes, the potential or the promise of business stuff gets in the way of being a writer and it kills you. Sometimes, constantly hearing about other people’s work or successes or failures or frustrations gets in the way of being a writer — if you’re not whole.

    After a few weeks of silence I realized that one of the reasons why I was using social media was to replace something that was missing. Call it justification or validation or whatever you will, but there was a gaping hole I was using the community-at-large to fill. I was looking to other writers to console me, to understand my frustrations, to see how they’re making it.

    Without thinking about it, I was looking for ways to feel confident that I had a chance — a snowball’s chance in hell — of “making it.”

    And it’s all b.s. It honestly, truly is because you never, ever stop writing or telling stories. For many of us, it doesn’t end with one publication or one novel. If you want to be a writer, all you have to do is write and keep writing and keep submitting. That’s it. It’s exactly like playing an instrument. Once you learn how to play it, you keep practicing. Sometimes you get a tip or a lesson to hone your technique, but if you record yourself you can self-correct and keep improving.

    Even after you get to a point where you’re a good writer, fit can hit the shan. A part of your mind takes over and screws everything up. Publishers won’t buy your books without readers. And marketing. And a platform or else they’ll give you less money and publish someone else’s book. Then comes the “oh-my-god-can-I-earn-a-living-at-this”?

    Then, you start feeling obligated to be accessible 24-7. Or else. Because your social media platform is work and you have to maintain it.

    To quote The Last Samurai: TOO MANY MIND.

    NONE of that stuff matters. None of it. It doesn’t matter who’s promoting what book or who is popular right now. It doesn’t matter what the new shiny tools do or how they’ll save your life someday because you’ve now shaved off 4 minutes of your time. What does count? What I found out?

    A writer needs to have a good relationship with his/her work. If you don’t have that? You don’t have squat.

    If you have to apologize for the fact that your story got published by small press, or that you offered it up on a fan fiction site, or that it’s available for free, or that you self-published… If you have to APOLOGIZE for getting published in non-traditional venues or explain away to the author who thinks your work is crap because it’s not at a “big house” — then you do not have a good relationship with your work. You don’t. Because you are doing the same thing I did. You are apologizing for the fact that you are not as big as the next guy — when all that matters is that you’re telling a story and you’re going to tell another one… And another one… And another one…

    And the worse part about it? This is especially heinous if it’s a damn, good story.

    Nothing else should become between you and your writing. For me? I was cheating on my work with social media because I am not a rampant self-promoter. I want my readers to read, to review, to engage without ramming my work down their throat. It’s soooo easy to Twitter or Facebook or update a one-liner to spread the word and take care of that self-promotion thing. Only that’s not the only way or the best way. You know it. I know it. We all know it. Yet, we still think it’s that important.

    So sometimes? You have to have “the talk.” With yourself. I did. And while I still find myself apologizing sometimes because it’s a hard, hard habit to break? I’m writing my ass off, people.

    The rest of it? Money, fame, fortune? It may come. It may not. But I am past the point of caring. To worry about how many readers I don’t have rather than concentrate on the number of readers I DO have is a huge disservice to anyone who’s taken an interest in my work. I apologize.

    And that, my dear Sarah…is how I found “me.” It took getting off of social media to know how to cut past the b.s. and get funky with my stories in the best, absolutely greatest way possible. By setting aside other people’s expectations I didn’t even know I was reacting to, I got down to basics before I made up a few of my own. And that’s what I’m sticking with. Right now? It’s my rules, my way, my stories.

    I couldn’t be happier.

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