GalleyCat, Vampires, and Yours Truly

Vampire Avatar

What does one of the most popular blogs about writing/publishing have in common with Varney the Vampire? Well, pull up a chair and listen closely, for you, too, can feel the scare, the absence of breath, and sharp fangs sinking deep into your neck.

GalleyCat has hosted a contest of indeterminable size — hundreds of writers, including myself, are re-writing sections of Varney the Vampire in a variety of flavors. My particular taste of choice happens to be inspired by a stellar vampire flick: Shadow of the Vampire.

Each entrant was assigned a chapter. Now, many of you know how I feel about wasted words — and my entire section was about the decision (or not) to pick up weapons and where to meet next.

So, I had a little fun. Hee. What better way to highlight the sordid decision and the absurdity of (the equivalent of) half-an-hour’s worth of conversation than to drag Hollywood, kicking and screaming, into the mix?

Ah, yes. I am evil, but I’m not the only one! GalleyCat is doing the entrants proud, by publishing each section on both their blog, which is available here, and their Tumblr account. (The book will also be available in its entirety later on. More to come on the new tome.)

Grand fun! And so far, the entries have thrilled me with their creativity in both form AND function. regardless of who wins or loses, and I got to write about a vampire who closely mirrors that which I know in my heart to be true – a blood-sucking fiend, a predator who can easily mimic its mortal counterparts for his/her own nefarious desires. But to what end?

Well, read my section and find out! There are two ways to do that, visit GalleyCat on Tumblr or be sure to keep up-to-date on the GalleyCat blog.

P.S. — I’ll likely blog about this later, but FlamesRising.com is hosting a NaNoWriMo contest. Comment there to win!

    Mood: Nom nom. Nom. Nom nom nom.
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: More water than caffeine. WHAT HAVE I DONE?
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Strollin’ through the dog park.
    In My Ears: Nuts and honey.
    Game Last Played: Dragon Age: Origins
    Movie Last Viewed: MirrorMask
    Latest Artistic Project: In progress!
    Latest Release: “Fangs and Formaldehyde” from the New Hero anthology through Stone Skin Press

Instead, a Niggly Dragon Age Question

What does one do when one’s brain has left the building? Get intrinsically, monumentally, paltry questions stuck in one’s head, of course! So, instead of a blog post, a question.

Why do darkspawn carry money? If they are killers, who don’t care about the trappings of life in Ferelden (or beyond), then why can you loot their corpuscles — I mean, that is to say, corpses — and find pittance of coin on them? Do they psychically draw these coins to them just to subtly piss off villagers and townsfolk? Or are they sifting through valuables and money is a token of their kills? So, for every coin they have. . .

Like I said. I had a question. It wasn’t necessarily a good one, though.

    Mood: Write. Write. MUST WRITE. Write. Write. MUST.
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Methinks, perchance, I have losteth track.
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Walkin’ on through the streets. Uh-huh.
    In My Ears: The screams of a thousand somethings or others.
    Game Last Played: Dragon Age: Origins
    Movie Last Viewed: Looper
    Latest Artistic Project: In progress!
    Latest Release: “Fangs and Formaldehyde” from the New Hero anthology through Stone Skin Press

NaNoWriMo by the Numbers

Celtic Wheel

Wondering how to write 50,000 words in a month? Well, here’s some estimated numbers for you:

  • There are 30 days in the month of November. If you write every day, you’ll need to write 1,667 words per day.
  • On average, 3 to 400 words can fit on a single-spaced page in 12 pt Times New Roman font. That means, you have to write between five to seven pages in Microsoft Word per day to reach your goal.
  • If you skip one day, you need to write 1,725 words per day (or an extra fifty-eight words) to make up the difference.
  • If you skip the three-day Thanksgiving weekend, you need to write 1,851 words per day (or an extra 185 words) to achieve your goal.
  • If, for some reason, you decide to take a week off? You need to write 2,174 words per day to reach 50,000 words. That’s an additional 507 words, or an extra page and a half of text.
  • Edited words will slow your progress because they don’t count as new words. In some cases, you could lose words and put yourself back into the negative territory — SO DON’T EDIT WHILE YOU WRITE.

Though I am not doing NaNoWriMo, I am slogging away. I must. After all, no one else is responsible for my career. . .no one else is going to help you with yours, either. Get the words out, forget about quality woes, and revise AFTER you’ve hit your goal.

GOOD LUCK!

    Mood: I am consumed by words.
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Not enough.
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Airport jaunts.
    In My Ears: Going Through The Motions from Once More With Feeling
    Game Last Played: Dragon Age: Origins
    Movie Last Viewed: Looper
    Latest Artistic Project: In progress!
    Latest Release: “Fangs and Formaldehyde” from the New Hero anthology through Stone Skin Press

Happy Halloween! A Spooky Buffet of Links and Treats!

Halloween Night Ghost Avatar

Happy Halloween! I wish all of you the finest and spookiest of days. May your spine tingle, your ghosts haunt, and your day be full of portents and ominous signs. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo!

And now for a few necessary announcements.

  • Don’t forget to sneak over to FlamesRising.com this week, for the site will fill you up with scary blog posts perfect for this time of year, like my review of Frankenweenie.
  • If you applied to become one of The Thirteen, check your e-mail. Today, you will find out whether or not I accepted your application.
  • NaNoWriMo starts tomorrow. Yes, that’s TOMORROW! Ack!
  • Want excellent chocolates? http://www.infusionchocolates.com/
  • Need something new, but you’re strapped for cash? Free spooky radio dramas from the Golden Age of sound. Visit RadioRelic.com and listen to a-mazingly scary tales!
  • Traditional? Believe Halloween is perfect for divinatory exploration of the tarot-reading kind? Free tarot readings are available at Facade.com.

And now for a witchy manicure demonstration. (The silver version is what nailpolish I’m wearing this week over orange-and-black polish!)

And now, to leave you with a curious look from one of my cats, Rimmon. (Appropriately named the god of storms. . .)

    Mood: I vant to suck vour blood.
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Come to think of it, my victim’s blood did taste a little like Starbucks.
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Practiced my swoops and creeps!
    In My Ears: Dark Desire by Nox Arcana from Dark Tower
    Game Last Played: Dragon Age: Origins
    Movie Last Viewed: The Raven
    Latest Artistic Project: In progress!
    Latest Release: “Fangs and Formaldehyde” from the New Hero anthology through Stone Skin Press

On This All Hallows Eve, For You a Free Tale

Provided just for you, dear Readers, is an atmospheric tale to get you in the mood for Halloween. May your trick-or-treating yield fantastic results, and may the spirits be kind. . .

A Different Kind of Treat

Written by Monica Valentinelli

Blood-red shafts of sunlight filter through a dirty cabin window, kissing a row of colorful glass bottles. One by one the bottles shine with anticipation as they reveal their grisly contents. Three eyes spin in a green flask; a pair of wings beats urgently in another.

“What’s that, Momma?” A child’s finger points to a jar of wrinkled entrails sitting high on a kitchen shelf. The boy, who stands about three feet tall, is covered in dust and flour. His skin is marred with muddy blisters.

Halloween Night | Courtesy of sxc.hu“Oh nothing special, Alwin,” Belinda replies airily as she pulls a frilly apron over her head. “Just something I cook with now and again. You hungry?”

“Want candy.” Alwin rubs his bloated stomach. “Chocolate, ‘specially.”

The witch flashes him a crooked grin and picks a small book off the burnished wood counter. Has it really been a year since she last made her favorite recipe? Lately, it seems like all of her time has been devoted to nursing Alwin. No matter what she gives him — cinnamon, tincture of licorice or willow bark roots — nothing seems to help him get any better.

“Maybe I missed something,” Belinda whispers as she scans through the book. Her gnarled fingers turn the pages gingerly, as if each leaf of paper is a cherished family heirloom.

“What’s this, momma?”

Belinda rolls her eyes. She has to concentrate and she can’t think if he keeps talking. Of course he’s lonely, but there’s nothing she can do about that. Born under a harvest moon, Alwin’s only friends were the ravens that often circled the skies above their cabin. His insatiable curiosity was the only thing the witch didn’t like about him. Still, empathy was never her strong suit. He was dying and she wasn’t sure her magic could cure him.

“What’s what, honey?”

“This.” Alwin shows her a fistful of waxy hair. “It’s from my head.”

Belinda’s paper-thin lips crumple into a disapproving scowl. She can’t afford to babysit Alwin while she mixes and measures the necessary ingredients for tonight’s confection. Either he’s going to help her in the kitchen, or she needs to find something else for him to do. Thinking quickly, the witch pulls a red bottle off a shelf. “Just put those strands in here and we’ll figure out where they belong later.”

Alwin ignores her and yanks more hair from his crusty scalp.

“ALWIN!”

Dark splotches bloom all over Alwin’s pasty neck; the witch now knows for sure what they mean. Her last spell was a total failure. Thinking quickly, she tries something else, and asks: “Why don’t you grab your costume?”

Alwin runs around the room in a circle chanting at the top of his lungs. “Trick-or-treat. Smell my feet. Give me something good to eat.”

Belinda crosses her bony arms and regards him sternly. She has to get him out of her hair, does she have the heart to kill him? The boy doesn’t have that much time left, but she still feels responsible for him.

“You can collect some firewood for the oven first.”

The witch knows the boy won’t stray very far from the cabin. If the trees and the corn fields don’t confuse him, the owls will. Just last night, Belinda had awakened to the sound of a screeching owl perched above his bed. It was as if the entire forest not only knew what Alwin was, they were eager to share the secret. Lost in her thoughts, Belinda barely hears her son’s whimpering plea.

“Outside, momma. Outside.” Alwin moans softly.

Leaning forward, Belinda looks at him straight in his copper-colored eyes. “Do you think you’ll back by supper?”

“Yes, momma.”

The witch knows Alwin won’t last that long. His skin is crumbling and his fingers are starting to dry out. If that isn’t bad enough — he’s beginning to reek of mold.

To take her mind off of Alwin’s predicament, Belinda turns back to her favorite recipe. She can’t help but smile as she gathers the proper ingredients and dumps them into her cauldron: tiny snails, fat slugs, pumpkin seeds, a virgin’s eyes.

Dropping a pulsing heart into the thickening dough, Belinda stirs it once, twice, three times. “This’ll turn out right this time, I just know it.”

Alwin pulls a rubber mask over his crumbling face. “Can I help?”

“Not this time, Alwin, but you can watch Berthold rise.”

“Who’s Berthold? Is it candy?”

“No, he’s a different kind of treat, Alwin. The kind that’ll stay fresh forever.”

“Sounds tasty, Momma.”

Belinda licks her lips. “Oh, I hope so, Alwin. I hope so.”

© Copyright 2010

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Looking for Monica’s books and games that are still in print? Visit Monica Valentinelli on Amazon’s Author Central or a bookstore near you.

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