2013 was a great year for me professionally, but crappy personally. It did end on a high note, though, and there is that! But, the dread pirate Apathy sailed into town, and got stuck in the ice. Bad winter, terrible mood all around. Now that it’s well past Spring (and into 2014, already), I’ve been taking advantage of the thaw to kick Apathy where it hurts and blow a hole in his ship. Some changes, like my stepping down from my position as John Kovalic’s business manager, and my conscious decision to not highlight my “support” gigs, were decisions I made to focus on the reason why I’m here, alive, and kicking — writing. Everything else I’ve done and continues to do allows me to write, either full-time or part-time. Others, like f-bomb’ing moving, came up suddenly. Now I’m in a whirlwind of change, which is forcing me to focus on what really matters.

This is all a good thing. Apathy blows. Apathy is, by far, the worst possible beast to fight, because when I stop caring, I stop fighting, and some things are worth fighting for. Still, I think apathy also came into play, because there are SO MANY THINGS to fight for or about, and I hit decision paralysis. The thing is, I do care about what’s happening, but I don’t have time to participate in every discussion, and more and more there is always something to be outraged about. (As I mentioned yesterday.)

So instead, I plan on doing something about it. Being an online activist is not worthwhile for me, because I don’t feel it’s a productive use of my time, and I can have a bigger impact by focusing on what I can do in Real LifeTM. When I am near a computer, I have to write. That is my job. Instead, I am figuring out a battle plan to compartmentalize and choose “Yes, I want this!” and go forth and do. (See www.volunteermatch.org or www.micromentor.org for the general direction I’m thinking of.)

Right now though, I’m feeling like I’m being swept up in a tornado. Probably won’t get around to volunteering until the Fall, but so it goes. A lot of change on the horizon, and landing in Oz isn’t necessarily a bad thing — just… Whiny, I suppose. Whiny, because getting settled in is going to take a long while.

Thankfully, I am taking a break today and have a full day of art classes lined up. Then, I’ll be heading to C2E2 tomorrow to talk about Firefly, meet up with one of my comic publishers, see my artist, etc. It promises to be a good weekend, for sure.

Overall though, I’m feeling…disconnected a bit. Head is down, focused on this very specific list of things to do, and whatever kerfluffle is going on? That I can do without. But, I want to read what’s going on with folks, to stay on top of what’s happening, etc. Not sure if that means I need to do more conventions or just zero in on some patience for the next couple of weeks, but I’m here and I’m chug-a-chug-chugging. Seeing friends really helps. And cat smothering. But, um…

Yeah.

Mood: The day star is bright and it needs to go away WTF.
Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: I think three.
Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: HAHAHHAHHAHHA
In My Ears: A nagging reminder I should feed my fish.
Game Last Played: Eternal Sonata (stupid onions)
Book Last Read: Love is the Law by Nick Mamatas
Movie Last Viewed: The Eagle or some Rome re-enactment movie with terrifyingly awful accents.
Latest Artistic Project: Art classes TO-DAY!
Latest Fiction/Comic Release: Last Man Zombie Standing
Latest Game Release: Firefly RPG corebook
What I’m Working On: Primarily tie-in games work and novels.