Went to bed at “I’m too old for this!” last night. A lot of my projects are overlapping for this quarter, and I’m in full steam ahead mode. So today, for daily squee? I’m going to talk to you about one of my cats. His name is Zakar a.k.a. Lord Lardbottom.

Zakar is the first cat I’ve been the guardian for, and our second pet. Our first was a dwarf hamster named Moogle, and he has long since meandered into Chocobo Heaven. Zakar, who’s named after the Mesopotamian God of Dreams, is an unusual feline. You see, he’s a Rescue with a capital “R.” When he was found, he had no tail–a genetic anomaly that classifies him as a “manx”–and six/seven toes on each paw. Because of these not-like-other-cats bits, his chances of being adopted dropped dramatically. We decided to take him in and save his life.

At first, I was a little uneasy about how best to care for him. I’d never been a pet guardian before, you see, and while I lived with other cats in the past none of them had been mine to protect. To some, Zak is very strange. Not only is he able to open up doors and is extremely vocal (I think he sounds like a duck, personally.) he’s definitely got his own way of doing things like all cats and communicates his wishes. Loudly and with vigor. But? He also watches out for me, too. He’s a people cat and runs our humble manor in his own way.

One of tricks he performs has to do with Mr. Pig. I bought a stuffed pig for a friend’s baby shower, and Lord Lardbottom immediately “acquired” it. He finds and beats Mr. Pig to a pulp numerous times and carries it around like a tiger with a fresh kill. Yeah, Zakar’s not messing around, but he is definitely slowing down the older he gets.

Anyway, the point of this post is to squee but I find I’m a little embarrassed when it comes to Zak Zak. I had a lot of anxiety over bringing him into our care. I didn’t really know how to be a good guardian at first–if I was going to do the job right–and while I figured it out with a lot of help and patience from others? I hesitated to squee when I first saw him. I was fascinated by this tailless-giant-pawed-kitten-with-ear-mites-and-so-much-spunk who had taken on a great dane and wasn’t taking [Insert your flavor of excrement here.] from anyone. This tiny little being had so much personality and never faltered, despite the occasional bout of tail envy with our other cat, Rimmon.

Not ever having had any pets like this of my own, I was curious about the little guy who hid under dressers, demanded cuddles, and who’s since proven to be a Catnip Addict of the Criminal Sort. It’s hard for me to put into words due to The PastTM, even as a writer, but the point I’m embarrassed to make is that I didn’t fall in love with this cat–at least not for the first couple of days. I remember that after a week went by, I got over my trepidation by looking up kitten behavior and asking loads of questions. Falling into a routine, playing with him often, giving into his cuddle demands… Yeah, he’s got me wrapped around his paws for sure.

Zakar (a.k.a. Lord Lardbottom) is now over ten years old. He’s had some health problems over the years because he’s a manx, and our vet has been helping us to take excellent care of him. He goes in regularly, has strong opinions about the vet in general, and he’s very, very spoiled.

When I think of Lord Lardbottom (his latest nickname) now, I squee. I squee loudly. Because Zakar has taught me an important lesson: that when something or someone enters into your world, and it’s not exactly what you expected, it’s not the end of the world and could turn out to be awesome. That it’s okay to be nervous or anxious or all of those negative emotions at first, because I’m not perfect either–because there’s no such thing.

What is “perfect” but an expectation people put on others to be statistically normal grounded in biology or some other quality as determined by…which authority again? BORING! Who has time to live up to anyone else’s definitions of perfect? Sounds painful and wholly unnecessary, because it is. That word causes hurt, confusion, pain. It doesn’t help us take care of one another; it puts walls up between us and says: “Here’s this invisible, unachievable standard!” Certainly, this cat didn’t “ask” to have no tail, digestive problems, issues with balance, and oddly-shaped paws the size of a small dinosaur. Put a kitten to sleep because he’s not quite right? I don’t think so.

Zakar, to me, is perfect just as he is. I like to think that I’m Lord Lardbottom’s guardian, but in reality? I think he’s been mine.

2/365

Mood: Overtired
Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Two cups so far and more coming.
Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Typing like crazy.
In My Ears: Blah, blah, blah!
Game Last Played: Age of Reckoning: Kingdoms of Amalur.
Book Last Read: Re-reading His Dark Materials trilogy by Phillip Pullman
Movie Last Viewed: Lucy
Latest Artistic Project: Um…
Latest Fiction/Comic Release: Last Man Zombie Standing. See also: need to write more flipping comics and exercise my art skillz again. Feh.
Latest Game Release: Hunter the Vigil: Mortal Remains
What I’m Working On: Primarily tie-in games work, original comics, and novels.