My Year-End Summary and 2022 Publications

Hello, hello!

2022 was an interesting year in many ways. Reflecting on 2021, this year was a time to start shedding everything that wasn’t working for me. My 2021 New Year’s Resolution was to write for myself every day and the most important part of this goal turned out to be the importance of writing for myself. As it turned out, one of the things that wasn’t working for me was worrying about what comes after release/submission or—even worse—predicting what those outcomes would be. To be blunt: no sphere in publishing has fully recovered from the pandemic. Past Monica might have worried about that, because this affects my future. Present Monica says: “Well, shit. That sucks. Nothing I can do about all of that except focus on what I’m doing now.”

I’m happier than I’ve ever been despite substantive cuts and losses—this year was full of surprises. At the beginning of the pandemic, I made a huge wish list of stuff I wanted (or wanted to learn and do). Many of the things I was hoping for came true in an unusual way. I’m not a “true believer” in magic in a fantasy sense, but I absolutely believe in the psychology of perspective and how that shapes your reality. For example, if you’re convinced that artists must suffer, deep down, in order to make great art? Well, if you’re an artist you’ll wind up suffering—with or without the art. Deprogramming harmful messages to release the outcome is challenging AF because there are a lot of them! For me, this year I knew I wanted to get back into photography. I had no idea that desire would turn into snapping pics of animal ambassadors and guests at an AZA-accredited zoo—a fabulous and joyful outcome.

This, dear Reader, is also the reason why I’ve decided to abandon my New Year’s Resolution this year because it doesn’t work for me. Instead, I’m focusing on a symbol and all it represents—the sun—to “color” my perspective with a little warmth and light. Timely, too, because the sun is having a very hard time getting past all the clouds and snow. And, with a little luck, I’ll be going to Egypt.

With that in mind, here’s a list of my 2022 publications. In addition to this list, I had the pleasure of teaching through the Rambo Academy for Wayward Writers. If you get an opportunity to take one of Cat Rambo’s classes or check out her books, please do so! You can check out one of her recent stories online; read “The Woman Who Wanted To Be Trees” on Slate.com. Cat is a rare gem who builds community in an empowering way, and she’s an important part of the speculative fiction community and publishing landscape.

I’m looking forward to a productive 2023. On Saturday, January 7th, I’ll be teaching a new class called Emotional Self-Care for Creatives. Also in January, I’ve got an essay about the witch hysteria in Apex Magazine along with a new project I’ll announce via BooksOfM on Patreon.

Thanks for sticking with me in 2022. If you’ve got your own end-of-year blog posts, please link to them in the comments. And Happy New Year!

Published Games in 2022

I am pleased to announce that two of these games topped DriveThruRPG.com’s best-seller’s lists in 2022 according to Geek Native. Congrats to all who worked on these games with me!

HUNTER: THE VIGIL SECOND EDITION, 2022, Onyx Path Publishing/Paradox Interactive – Number One Best-Selling Horror RPG of 2022 and the Number One Best-Selling Modern Era RPG of 2022!

ONE NIGHT IN THE CATACOMBS, 2022, BooksOfM
TALES OF THE RED: STREET STORIES, 2022, R Talsorian Games – Number One Best-Selling Science Fiction TTRPG of 2022!

LEVEL 1 Volume 3, “One Night in Bain House,” 2022, 9th Level Games

DEAD MAN’S RUST, Scarred Lands 5th Edition, 2022, Onyx Path Publishing



[Guest Post] 3 Ways to Find Your Groove: The Introverts Guide to Getting Back Out There

written by Jason Sizemore

Before I dive into the meat of this essay, I wish to thank Monica Valentinelli for the platform to share my thoughts. Monica is a total OG. She has appeared numerous times in my Hugo Award-winning online publication Apex Magazine. We are currently running a Kickstarter to help fund our 2023. If you’d like to check out the zine, I recommend reading Monica’s “101 Softly-Delivered Writing Lessons” she wrote for our FOR WRITERS series, but much of the advice there is useful Life Advice stuff.

Since March 2020, the United States has been in the iron grip of COVID-19. In hopes of curtailing the spread of the virus and to protect others, we have lived with quarantines, masking, and a million Zoom meetings. Only recently have the restrictions been relaxed, meaning that those without high-risk health conditions and following appropriate safety protocols can once more participate fully in society. Great news for most, but stressful news for introverts like myself. What if we had grown comfortable hiding our insecurities and fears behind N95 masks and work teleconferences? So, as we venture forth, I’d like to share three strategies I used to help pull myself out of my cave and learned to be social again.

The Loneliest Time

In February 2019, I had a lesion removed from my jaw that resulted in partial facial paralysis, loss of sensation, and the complete replacement of my mandible with three sections from my left fibula. It took six months for me to recover. During that time, I saw very few people beyond my wife and kids. Around the time 2019 clicked over to 2020, I was making my first tentative steps back into the world. Then COVID-19 happened and suddenly it was back indoors for me.

My first big adventure post-surgery and post-pandemic was DisCon III in Washington, DC (December, 2021). I was determined to attend, but my anxiety was overwhelming. I’d not been in a social situation with people outside my family in nearly three years. The fear was real. But this introvert, ironically, needed his friends and acquaintances. I was bored to tears at home and was quickly losing motivation.
Determined not to let my anxiety take away my opportunity to attend DisCon III, I purposely did three things. These worked for me, and your mileage may vary, but I share them in hopes that they might prove helpful to someone else struggling with getting back out there.

Have Support Ready

Prior to the convention, I shared my situation with a good friend who would also be in attendance. I didn’t need or want a nurse or psychiatrist on hand to save me a from a panic attack. What I sought was having someone in the crowd who recognized that the reason I may not be wholly participating in a group conversation or excited to join a large dinner party was due to social anxiety.

This friend would act as an advocate in a situation where I was being pressured into doing something I was not able to handle. Even with a group as notoriously skittish and introverted as writers, people are caught in the moment and enthusiasm of group activities and want to share the joy with all their friends. This enthusiasm can cause stress and guilt unwittingly and make matters worse. Your friend will interject with something like, “Hey, that’s okay if you don’t go. Maybe catch up with us tonight when we return?” This, most of the time, will diffuse the pressure and redirect the group’s enthusiasm.

Be Kind, Unwind

I’ll preface this recommendation with an acknowledgment that it can be dependent on your personal finances and room availability. Save and plan as needed.

One of my favorite conventions is Gen Con. It is packed with sweaty, tired gamers who love the same things I do. The problem is that it is expensive, so I would stay at a friend’s house who lived in the same city as the event to save money.

Saving money is a wonderful thing. But this left me with nowhere to dash to when I absolutely needed away from the throngs of people. By the end of the four-day event, my nerves were a shredded mess and I found myself like a little kid begging to go home.

At DisCon, I made sure to get a room within walking distance. I could go crash when I needed. I had a place where I could recharge my batteries. It was wonderful and helped make the convention a great experience.

Make Yourself Accountable

This will certainly be the most difficult of my three suggestions to do, but I find accountability as an effective tool to combat that part of my brain that says “Meh, you would be happier in bed reading.” Reading in bed is, indeed, a wonderful thing. But it isn’t what your mental state needs after months of being anti-social.

To make sure I left my hotel room every morning, I planned breakfast/lunch with long-distance friends every day prior to the event. I also made sure I had to participate in some form as the publisher of Apex Magazine by running a dealer’s table in the vendor hall. The dealer’s table required that I have staff/volunteers to help out, so I was accountable to not only friends, but also to those people who were helping me out. Having accountability to folks you care about really cranks the motivation factor up.

Remember, You’re the One With All the Expectations

I hope these three recommendations are helpful. At the very least, they should have you thinking about coping strategies for getting back out in the world.

Set realistic goals. Start small if you need to. We all deal with these things at a different pace and have different mental needs. Don’t be afraid to aggressively pursue what you need to make yourself feel comfortable. Because you have friends who are looking forward to seeing you.

Would you like to help Jason relieve some of his anxiety? The best way to do so right now is to back the Apex Magazine 2023 Kickstarter. The project is funded and currently fulfilling stretch and backer goals! Backer rewards include Kickstarter exclusive fiction, more content for the zine, and increasing writer pay.

About the Author: Jason Sizemore is the owner and lead editor of Apex Books and Apex Magazine. He currently lives in Lexington, KY where he leads a failing campaign to convince the locals that science fiction is far more fun than horse racing.

Designing Tension in Cyberpunk RED

Tales of the RED: Street Stories Cover Art

Heya choombas!

Wanted to share that my Cyberpunk RED adventures are titled “Bathed in RED” and “One RED Night.” While their stories can be told separately, I wrote them as two distinct parts of a larger narrative included in Tales of the RED: Street Stories.

One of the reasons why I wanted to write for Cyberpunk RED, is because I was keen on exploring narrative tension in Night City as you moved from scene to scene. My approach to introducing that tension is through the introduction of hard choices to shape your story and advance the plot. If you were reading a novel or comic book, those choices would be made by the protagonists. In a game, however, you are the protagonists actively contributing to the narrative fulfilling your own motivations and your group’s goals. Ultimately, it’s not my decision what happens next. It’s yours. My job is to present those gut-wrenching decisions that help you feel vested in the game.

I love presenting difficult choices, because they’re a great way to add depth to your story. To make them emotionally-compelling, I took the project’s guidelines to heart and made these choices personal. Smart technology, cool locations, even corporations aren’t enough of a story hook. They’re just props to interact with and cool set designs. What makes a story personal, are the characters you interact with during the game. In Cyberpunk RED, there are compelling challenges like that computer virus designed to wipe out your data. What I consider is who designed that virus and why they’re targeting you. Same thing with corporations, too. After all, a “greedy conglomerate” isn’t as interesting as a CEO who decides to cut your salary to give themselves a bigger bonus.

Characters also give you ways to interact with the story, learn more about the setting, and provide clues. That said, I didn’t design them according to their plot delivery function, because that wasn’t interesting enough to me. Instead, I prioritized “who” they were and “where” they were from before I worried about the plot. This approach allowed me to revel in what I enjoy writing—worldbuilding and characterization—even though I had some rules already in mind.

Though I had the basic idea for a mystery plot in the outline phase, I didn’t figure out the specifics right away. My breakthrough happened after I finished my first draft of both adventures. Oh, I remember that eureka moment very, very clearly—and not only because I had a wonderful Ah-hah! feeling. I was having so much fun writing in Night City, every character and cinematic scene I imagined flowed together as if I was watching a movie. I could even imagine this exact plot in a video game. That visualization is the moment I knew this story was cohesive and filled with jaw-dropping moments.

I’m extremely lucky to write for Cyberpunk RED, because Tales of the RED: Street Stories allowed me to explore new-and-existing aspects of Night City and its people. That said, this two-part story scales more toward cyberpunk thriller with horror elements than a straight-up adventure.

If you’re keen on learning more about game design so you can write your own adventures, I encourage you to sign up for my upcoming campaign planning class.

Thank you for listening!

On Refilling Your Creative Well

Cat in a Bucket

Our metaphorical well of creativity contains all we need to make art: inspiration, motivation, ideas. It’s a repository of our so-called creative juices that we draw upon until we can’t anymore for a variety of reasons. When we can’t create anymore, we get tired, burnt out, exhausted and look for ways to “refill the well”.

An empty well, then, implies that we don’t have any creative mojo left. We are all tapped out. I disagree with this metaphor, because I believe burnout doesn’t just happen from running out of creativity. It can also occur when there are obstacles in our path barring us from accessing the well. That distance, that inability to tap into a fundamental part of who we are, creates blockages that lead to exhaustion, even bitterness.

If you’re not creating, the very first question to ask and answer is: “Why?” Knowing why you aren’t creating is an important step. Here are some common reasons why burn out happens.

“I’m stressed out.”

“I don’t have time.”

“I don’t see the point.”

“I’m tired of getting rejected.”

“I’m tired of being underpaid and overworked.”

Let’s start with the first one. “I’m stressed out.” Stress, whether that’s due to pandemic fatigue or not, is an added burden. It may seem counterintuitive, but self-care can be a great path to creativity. Acknowledging, naming, even describing your stressors can help validate your feelings so you can deal with it. Sometimes, it might be as simple as taking a break from social media or falling into a beloved book to give you some relief.

Self-care can also be something small and free or inexpensive. If you “hit a wall”, you might get some fresh air, listen to your favorite song, text a friend, share a joke, etc. Twenty-minute naps, free writes, or meditations are also great!

Sometimes, I go to bed early when I hit that wall. Right before I drift off to sleep, I ask a question about my creative project. More than once, I wound up dreaming about the work and my subconscious figured out a path by the time I woke up.

My goal, here, is not to say you should eliminate all stress because that’s not realistic. Being a human in 2022 is incredibly stressful! I am suggesting that by acknowledging it, caring for ourselves, and getting a little distance from it you might find a wonderful path to draw on your creativity once more.

Walking through another example… Let’s tackle: “I don’t have the time.”

I’m nodding along with you, because time is a precious commodity and a resource. No question about it. You do not have the time. So, to get creative you’d need to find it. That bit, finding the time, is a process that sucks. Either, you have to give up something or you have to sneak working on your goal in a few minutes here and there. It can, in many ways, feel like a punishment rather than a necessary part of decision-making.

My suggestion, here, is not to start by analyzing your time or doing yet-another-deep-dive into what you are or aren’t doing. You are doing PLENTY! Instead, try to change your schedule/routine before adding anything else—including creative time—to your plate if you can.

The other thing about not being able to find time, is that sometimes this is code for “What’s the point?” or “I don’t know where to start.” Or, sometimes even more insidiously, imposter syndrome kicks in and we defeat ourselves before we start. “Why should I create? Who’d care? Why bother?” Only you know if that’s the case and “not being able to find the time” is a way to rationalize the real reason you aren’t creating.

Of course, I can’t tell you how to ask and answer your specific questions, because you know yourself best. I also don’t know your “what”. What motivates you? Is it a person? A goal? A reward? What? Knowing that can be incredibly helpful, because it gives you something to aspire to or hope for.

If your answer is “I don’t know what motivates me,” try journalling or creating a vision board to find that out. You might discover that the reason why you’ve lost your motivation is because you, as a creator, have changed and you need new sources of inspiration you haven’t sought out or used regularly in the past.

Asking yourself questions and finding answers is one technique you can use to be creative again, because it defines, acknowledges, and validates how you’re feeling by giving you a path forward. Sometimes, however, the path forward isn’t “the future”. When you literally can’t plan, you might consider revisiting the past, remembering what you loved, how you used to play, what your happiest moments were.

The last thing I want to say about refilling your well, is that if these paths and techniques sound like a lot of work? Then they are too much for you right now. I can’t stress enough how fresh perspectives don’t typically come from analyzing or following the same path over and over again. Sometimes, you do have to shake things up—which is MUCH harder to do right now—to clear a path.

My solution to refilling my creative well has been to use “one small thing” for my goals. What can I do right now, in this moment? What small, precious thing can I do? Those small things might include: a hundred words, a scene, a chapter, reading a chapter, writing a prompt, writing a pitch, etc. Then, I log that information in a journal. Over time, “one small thing” becomes visible for me, a journey that becomes more evident with each passing day.

I hope, after reading this post, you feel encouraged to find solutions for your creativity blocks. What you’re experiencing is going to be different from me, and I recognize and acknowledge that neurodiversity and your health absolutely factor into this conversation. If you need additional encouragement, however, let me say this: I believe in you. I really, really do! You can find your mojo again. Or maybe, it will find you.

If you are able to create right now, could you please do me a favor? Comment on this post or blog about how you’ve kept creating during the pandemic. Every little bit helps right now, and you never know…someone might stumble across your post/newsletter/update and read exactly what they needed to. Thank you!

BooksOfM Year-End Summary and 2021 Publications

Hello and welcome to my 2021 year end summary!

Instead of simply listing my credits like I did in my 2020 BooksOfM publications post, I want to share a more substantive update. The list follows and only reflects published works not what’s in progress.

2020 was, in my mind, a successful year because I survived the pandemic. Yes, I lost a lot, much like so many of you, but at the same time? I am incredibly lucky, because I am still here. To help me get through months of quarantine and endless amounts of waiting, I made a list—well over 100 items long—of all the things I wanted to do, learn, or try. If 2020 was “Wake Up. Kick Ass. Repeat,” 2021 has been revised to: “Wake Up. Plant a Seed. Help it Grow.”

It has been a quiet year, a year of personal development and growth, a year of cultivating, cutting, and harvesting, a year of being “off-stage” to work, find new gigs, and write on spec. I started the year not knowing how I was going to plow through 2020 Round Two with an article sale 101 Softly Delivered Writing Lessons to Apex Magazine and two 30-day challenges: a month-long art challenge I posted at BooksOfM on Ko-Fi and a month-long poetry challenge I published through BooksOfM on Patreon. (You can find the poems when you become a patron; you can also read about my decision not to publish a chapbook.) The poetry was emotionally draining, so I took a break to refuel my proverbial well and focused on social media management—making images for my existing/upcoming releases—along with a presentation about new players at the GAMA Expo Online.

Then, in April (following my hilarious-to-me Artisanal Writer April Fool’s joke news of vaccine availability started to circulate and I breathed a little easier. (Okay, a lot.) It helped I also had something fun to focus on: Sirens: Battle of the Bards Kickstarter. I signed on to write for the 5E campaign setting; that work is now complete and I really loved the experience and my contribution to the larger world.

In the Spring, I also taught a couple of writing workshops through the Rambo Academy for Wayward Writers using tarot and ways to generate stories. I’m happy to report that my not-so-secret secret is slides; I do prep well ahead of time. It helps me keep time and the students engaged. In the middle of a very busy month, I was surprised to find out my short story “Scritch, Scratch” from Haunting Shadows for Wraith: The Oblivion was a 2021 Scribe Awards Nominee.

This Summer, I shifted gears to focus on community content and prepare for my first guest appearance in two years at GameHole Con 2021. I released the “Eyes of Spiragos” adventure for Scarred Lands, then drafted a pair of adventures I wanted to playtest along with a city building workshop, interview questions for my Rethinking Fear in Horror Games with Megan Connell, fundraising for Extra Life, etc. The show was packed and I’m very grateful for time spent with wonderful peers, fans, and friends.

Also in October, I was invited to participate in the Infinite Masters program for Pathfinder, published two releases, and then announced I’m part of a super exciting project—Tales of the RED for the Cyberpunk RED RPG. In November, I completed the first drafts and handed those in! More on this upcoming project later.

Now, as I inch closer to 2022, I’m wrapping up the year to (hopefully) leap forward in 2022. In December, I typically spend time free writing to reflect on the prior year. So how did I line up with my public-announced resolution to write for myself every day? Well, hilariously that is exactly the spot where I ended up, just not in a way I expected it to. When I wrote that resolution, I thought it meant: “Work on my own IPs every day.” Or, to not write for someone else. Except, this year I rediscovered joy in everything I wrote—from marketing copy to Cyberpunk. (Especially Cyberpunk!!!!) Now I really do “write for myself” every day, no matter who I’m volunteering/working with or for, in the healthiest, loving way possible.

This year, I’m tabling my Writerly Accountability post; setting goals has been great, mind you, but friend I need a vacation. Sunlight would be nice, too. And an ocean or three.

On that note, here’s my 2021 publications:

Published Fiction in 2021

“From an Honest Sister, to a Neglected Daughter”, Sisterhood: Dark Tales and Secret Mysteries, 2021, Chaosium Publishing

“Revenge of the Deceiver” short story, Pathfinder, 2021, Pathfinder Infinite

Published Games

Sea of Legends board game, 2021, Guildhall Studios (IF)

WORLD OF DARKNESS GHOST HUNTERS, 2021, Onyx Path Publishing/Paradox Interactive

EYES OF SPIRAGOS, a Scarred Lands 5th Edition adventure, 2021, Slarecian Vault

UNLIKELY COMPANIONS, Pathfinder First Edition, 2021, Pathfinder Infinite

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