There’s No One True Path For Artists

The Hobbit Gandalf Avatar

In place of today’s Make Art Not War 2017 check-in, I wanted to talk about something I’ve seen pop up recently among new writers. It’s about the idea that if you don’t get a prestigious opportunity you’ll never make it.

When you’re just starting out, you are full of enthusiasm and passion. Maybe you’re a writer or an artist or a musician. You’re doing your thing, grooving along, but making art isn’t enough for you. You want to do more, so you do some research and talk to your friends. Maybe you find a mentor, or maybe you model your next steps after someone who’s already made it. You go to school, audition, apply, set up shop, enter a contest.

Failure isn’t an option, because you’ve internalized that the path you’ve chosen is the only way to get what you want. It’s the most prestigious contest, school, publication, venue, or internship but, while you know you’re up against stiff competition, you are shocked to learn you’ve been rejected. Now, you’re crushed. You will never be a professional artist. You’ve failed. That was the one path, the only option, and now you’re totally screwed.

I cannot tell you how incredibly damaging this mentality is to you and your inner artist. There is no one true path, because there are literally thousands of ways to be an artist, sell your work, and connect with an audience. Besides that, there are hundreds of things outside of your control. Sometimes, for example, you could take all the “right” steps and wind up with a crappy editor or a book launch that happens to coincide with a natural disaster or glaring headline. Other times, your venue could have awful acoustics and your mic could go out (1) and yet the show must go on.

Hanging your entire career as an artist on one path or one opportunity is all but guaranteed to crush you. Maybe not the first time, but what about the second? Or the third? Making art is what lays the foundation for being a professional artist, but having a career isn’t that cut and dry. You will have success, you will have failure, and you will have varying degrees of both. No doubt, you’ll learn this as you continue to build your career and have a life, because the unexpected can turn you sideways. You crash your car, watch a friend die, get pregnant, are laid off from your day job.

The bad things that happen to you are normal. They can happen to anyone, and they are not a sign of your failure. There are so many things that make up the story of a life, and there’s no possible way to predict everything that can and will happen to you. This, dear reader, is why I feel learning how to be resilient is more important than pinning all your hopes and dreams on one action. People who aren’t, who have internalized the lie that success is granted via a linear, uphill climb, tend to look down on other artists who haven’t made “it” in their minds.

To be an artist is to walk your unique path. It may not be exactly the same as anyone else’s, but it is yours. Sometimes, you’ll get stuck at a crossroads or you’ll trip and fall. Sometimes, you’ll go really, really fast and the wind will be at your back. Enjoy it. This is your journey.

(1) Mic problems? This has happened to me more times than I can count.



April 19, 2017
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Tentative Plan for Con Safety Discussion and Call for Feedback

Yuna Final Fantasy X-2

Over the past week, I’ve had a number of people reach out to me in both the literary and gaming spaces. Conversations are happening both publicly and privately; the idea of a book on con safety is also gaining traction. Additionally, there’s been some discussion about putting together collections of critical essays that tackle why women (1) aren’t believed (2) as well. And, in the “this is reassuring” file, a handful of security guards reached out and told me I did the right thing. (3)

In light of this, however, I’ve since learned that what’s needed right now is for people to have those conversations in their cons, for their groups. Maybe some volunteers are recognizing that, when money exchanges hands, a convention isn’t “4theluv” after all. That’s hard to stomach on multiple levels, because without fans we (e.g. creators) wouldn’t be able to thrive, either. Maybe other cons could start by talking to people who’ve come forward with concerns at their events in the past, and ask them what they did right and what went wrong. The key, here, is to listen and get multiple perspectives because there’s a complex dynamic at work. There needs to be a bond of trust between guests/panelists and conrunners, especially since we’re expected to perform emotional labor to attract, retain, and entertain attendees. Attendees need to know that they’re valued, too, that if they have a concern it won’t be shoved aside.

I want to stress, however, that I am no expert on the subject of con safety. There are several people (4) who are already doing the work to make cons/events safer, and I feel that any forthcoming materials needs to emphasis those efforts and individuals. As I mentioned in the previous post, the discussion about con safety is far bigger than what happened at one con, and there can definitely be more than one solution (5) and multiple books.

What I Can Offer

Besides offering support, words of encouragement, or signal boosting where I can (6), I’ve had a few volunteers saying they’d be willing to help put together a book (7) on con safety. Doing so is complex, because a) it collates invaluable knowledge from existing volunteers b) people need to be paid fairly for their time c) it needs to be inclusive to address “what’s missing” from underrepresented groups d) it requires a publisher and ample distribution and e) possibly a Kickstarter.

Here’s what I can do with the resources I have at my disposal:

1. Form a private Slack for the project so people can have the necessary discussions. I would need moderators for this, to ensure that conversations didn’t get heated and people’s privacy remained protected.
2. Plan the book. Essentially, this would be the managing editor role to put together a book proposal with budget, outline, etc. I wouldn’t want to do this until the discussions have been had following this year’s convention season. Who knows? If someone else picks up the ball, maybe this book could be geared for creative professionals, instead.
3. Edit the book. I’m happy to do the full enchilada (or shoulder that burden with a co-editor). Mind you, I’m sensitive to the subject of payment, because my knee-jerk reaction would be to say “Yes! I can do this for free!” only to realize how much it interferes with my ability to get paid for other stuff. I want to do what’s fair, but I also want to do the right thing.
4. Help with the Kickstarter. This I’m less inclined to shoulder, because after running a Kickstarter for Upside Down: Inverted Tropes in Storytelling (8) while high on Ny-Quil for a month… Well, running a Kickstarter is its own job, and I know I don’t have the bandwidth to volunteer for the full bit.

So that’s my proposed plan and follow-up. Comments are open on this post, and they are moderated. What do you think?

A Compendium of Footnotes

(1) This emphasis emerged in reaction to what I experienced, but I feel this isn’t limited to women but all marginalized voices. Harassment, in particular, often exploits imbalances of power and the perception of who has it and who doesn’t.

(2) I started writing this but, sadly, that turned into a very long treatise on the power of a story, the Malleus Maleficarum, the wandering womb, and the origin of pop culture myths. Not exactly light reading or relevant to this discussion, so I shall spare you my rant.

(3) There’s a laughable idea that the best way to deal with any harasser/abuser is to face them, because that’s the only way to prove you’re stronger. That, unfortunately, is how many people get hurt or worse, and those concerns escalate when you’re at risk.

(4) I learned that several game designers and members in the Live Action Role Playing (LARP) community have done some stellar work on this. Check out nordiclarp.org for starters.

(5) Brain went a bit haywire while I was out for a walk. I thought about a portal/website where conventions could be rated on different scales; safety, fun, panels, amenities, etc. Then I remembered I do not have the resources to pull that off. See also: story of my life. Oh, what I could do with a fat pile of cash and an adoring cabal!

(6) Long story short, last year I made a conscious decision to start working on my own stuff. I’m now perilously behind on that goal, and my bandwidth decreases if I–HEY THERE’S ANOTHER SQUIRREL! It’s crucial that I bust my ass right now.

(7) Another HEY SQUIRREL! was to tackle some safety stuff in comic form. The ability to read non-verbal cues, for example, is so crucial to ensuring people feel comfortable.

(8)(a) I was yelled at in a friendly way, to ensure that I did link to my book titles when mentioned. It sucks, but such is the life of a creative.

(a) I went a little nutty with the footnotes since rediscovering how to link them. But, it is an accurate depiction of how my brain works, regardless.



April 18, 2017
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Suffering of the Unchosen Story Excerpt and Notes

“Suffering of the Unchosen” was a short story I wrote for Tales of the Dark Eras to highlight my take on the Salem Witch Trials for Hunter: The Vigil in Dark Eras. In Doubting Souls (1690-1695), I set the stage for a setting in which monster-hunting players have trouble figuring out who the real monster is. This story is representative of one take on Doubting Souls; that era has a considerable amount of setting information in and around Salem Town and Salem Village following months of research. Some of the resources I pulled from are also listed at the end of that chapter as well.

My story ties into that theme by presenting a main character, a grieving widower and father, who wants nothing more than to exact justice on the hunters who murdered his family. Whether or not his anger is justified is something you’ll have to find out should you read the entire tale.

For now, though, I hope you enjoy this excerpt from “Suffering of the Unchosen”.

Suffering of the Unchosen

I was but a simple farmer whose tender son once planted seeds in barren, rocky soil, whose sweet wife once gathered berries, herbs, and mushrooms in the forest, whose family once led a trouble-free life surrounded by our cousins and neighbors in Salem Village.

Now, that life — the life of William Mansforth — is over. Though it is by some miracle I still draw breath, the rest of my family was tragically murdered a few nights ago.

I found their smoldering remains after I had returned home, battered and bruised, for I had been robbed by petty thieves earlier that day. Upon witnessing the horrible sight of my wife and child blackened beyond all recognition, I sank to my knees in despair, for everything I owned and loved had been ripped from me in a mere day’s time. My purse had been stolen, my cabin and tiny plot of land had been sanctified by fire, and my wife and son had been tied to the stake and burnt alive.

In truth, I had not the eyes to see the pyre for what it was — a ruse — for I was preoccupied with guilt. What could I have done to save them? My beloved wife, Mary, and my adopted son of five years, William, were unjustly murdered and judged as witches for all to see. They were no devil-worshippers! Questions plagued me; each was a pox upon my mind. If I stayed the night, would their murderers return and end me, too? Would I know the faces of the townsfolk who took two innocent lives? Or, was this the Devil’s Hand at work?

With an aching heart, I slept at the foot of that grisly sight, whispering prayers for their wayward souls, so that the spirits of my wife and son would not lose themselves in sorrow. Our cabin’s logs heaped upon the pyre still burned slow and hot; their orange embers provided warmth and kept the cold dew from settling on my skin. There I slept on the hard ground, inhaling and holding the dwindling smoke of that wretched fire in my lungs, begging for death. Who could have done such a thing? Who dared to commit murder and walk free?

At my wit’s end, I could no longer feign sleep. Instead, I sat up, pulled out my hunting knife, and sliced my open palm. I was careful not to wince as I did so; the pain was sharp, but lingering. It reminded me that whilst my wife and son were dead I was, by God’s miraculous Hand, still alive. So in this fevered state, I forged a pact with Him in my own blood, to shine His light into the darkest recesses of men’s most murderous hearts, to ensure my family’s killers were justly judged — even if their capture would come at the cost of my own life.

“William…”

“Mary?” I knew not if her voice was inside my head, or if it was calling to me from between the trees. I yearned for her and hoped her ghost was a divine messenger. I shouted into the open air: “I am frightened, Mary. Is that you?”

“Here, William. Look to the great oak!”

I did as the voice bade, and saw a vision of Mary made whole, standing in front of the tree where we first met. Her naked body was shrouded in fine translucent robes, her long golden-brown hair flowed wild and free, and her kind brown eyes were just as merry as I remembered. She stood apart from me at a distance, but near enough so I could tell she was not a figment of my imagination.

“I am sorry, Mary. I was robbed, wife. Beaten and robbed!” I tried to beg her forgiveness, but my tongue was stuck. “Had I gotten home sooner…”

“William, you must listen carefully to me now. I have naught but a few moments, and I must tell you a secret…”

I fell into a fever-dream, half-drunk at the sight of her, wondering if I had finally gone mad. Was her spirit Heaven-sent or Devil-born? For precious few moments, I wondered if my wife truly was a witch. Then her words stuck to me like thistles, and they held fast.

“…three innocent babes, stuffed with herbs and dressed in linen, buried beneath the church by my late husband. I was the only one alive who witnessed were they were buried…and who killed them…”

“Who did this to you, Mary?” My voice was raspy, and I struggled to speak. I had to know. “Who slaughtered you and our dear boy for the sake of this knowledge? Who?”

“They call themselves hunters.”

Tales of the Dark Eras is now available now on DriveThruFiction.com. Each story in this collection tackles a different historical era, and offers a look into vampires, changelings, werewolves and more featured in the Chronicles of Darkness game line. Watch for upcoming news about additional platforms!

April 16, 2017
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Friendly Friday: The Princess and the F-Bomb

Inspired by Princess Alethea Kontis’s goal to institute friendly friday, I’m pleased to highlight different creators, companies, and artists whose work I really enjoy on this, the day of Freya. I don’t get the chance to squee as much anymore, and I really need that right now. (I had a post planned, in fact, but this particular squee is the kind of stress relief that money cannot buy.) Yes, there’s a lot to be concerned about, but without any humor I’ll devolve into a hot mess that can’t be mopped up.

My friend Bill Bodden presented me with this particular beaut, and I thought it was fitting to end the week with a review of the plushtastic F-Bomb from Plushzilla.

First, I’d like to set the mood. The lights around you dim. You hear the slow, steady beat of a synthesized drum. Then, the ghost of Barry White materializes, and–

*cue loud record scratch*

Uh, let’s try that again. Just a drum roll this time, I think. Perfect!

Presenting the F-Bomb

In the universe of the illustrious plushie, it seems that there is always another avenue of plush-tastic ideas to explore. Take for example Calcifer from Howl’s Moving Castle who, sadly, does not have the fiery temperature of a demon as one might expect. And, the ever-popular Labyrinth worm that neither talks nor walks, who shall forever remain nameless doomed to a lonely existence outside the Goblin King’s maze.

The F-Bomb is one such idea, and shares the Labyrinth worm’s ineffectiveness as it does have several weaknesses. While sewn well, this F-Bomb is not explosive and can be dropped repeatedly and with vigor. In fact, this F-Bomb is so soft it can be launched at any unsuspecting target– even small children under the age of 3. To test this theory, I threw the F-bomb at myself; it felt as if a rainbow-colored unicorn had frolicked in a pile of rose petals and one just happened to land on my cheek. Yes, it was that soft, which leads me to believe this is not a mere plushie. Oh no, this F-Bomb is the avatar of the letter “F” in material form.

I was quite disappointed, however, to discover that the wick isn’t a flammable incendiary device. It appears to be an intricate braid of hairs pulled from an ancient Viking’s beard that was conditioned for days in almond oil, and then attached to the F-Bomb’s butter-soft casing. The red “F” is also made from a similar material as its housing, and while that letter may well be dyed with the blood of someone’s enemies, it’s hard to say if that’s truly the case. No wonder this F-Bomb doesn’t come with a warning label!

The one upside to the F-Bomb, is that its name isn’t something the nefarious Autocorrect will touch. In fact, one can freely say “F-Bomb” instead of the swear word it represents, which prevents quite a bit of confusion. After all, the word “duck” has a slightly different (and considerably more avian) meaning than the -uck beginning with “f”, which makes it a poor, sorry excuse for an expletive.

And now, for a live action response to the F-Bomb. This is a picture of Captain Whinypants who is idly sitting next to the F-Bomb, but not on top of it, ready to toss it at a moment’s notice.

If the F-Bomb strikes your fancy, you can pick one up on Etsy. The store is taking a brief break because they’re on the road. If you follow this link, you can sign up for updates and view the description.

    Mood: Out of ducks
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: 2
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: 20, but I did not get any Pokestops.
    In My Ears: A fountain and a snoring cat. Would make a great picture book!
    Game Last Played: Pokemon GO
    Book Last Read: Aurora by Kim Stanley Robinson
    Movie/TV Show Last Viewed: Thor
    Latest Artistic Project: Make Art Not War 2017 Challenge and Rules
    Latest Releases: In Volo’s Wake for Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition and Unknown Armies Books 1-3. Read my end-of-the-year list of releases for an overview of what I’ve put out for 2016.
    Current State of Projects: Read my latest project update. New project update coming this month!



April 14, 2017
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On Knowledge to Make Cons Safer

Fire She-Ra Avatar

I’m painfully aware that the conversation about making cons safer for all attendees is bigger than me. Over the past few days, I have heard many, many stories from past and current attendees, peers, and panelists at conventions that they have had similar experiences or have dealt with harassers. I also feel this is not going to be resolved one con at a time, and I highly doubt that reactive efforts will address the systemic issues, either. I, personally, feel that unless there are avenues and options to proactively make safe spaces and educate con runners and attendees, this discussion will keep happening.

With this in mind, I thought about two solutions that might help; one big picture, one actionable item.

Asking more Questions

In my experience, harassers/abusers do not care about boundaries (either personal or professional), and they often leverage their personal relationships or manipulate what others think to avoid getting caught. There will always be abusers and harassers, but I do believe there are ways we can mitigate the threat. After we acknowledge that harassment does, in fact, happen, I feel additional questions need to be asked before we find solutions.

How can we…

  • …teach people not to harass?
  • …teach allies what to watch out for?
  • …foster healthy and safe communication about harassment?
  • …teach people how best to enforce harassment policies?
  • …address safety concerns that are not part of an official claim?
  • …share experiences between conventions so each con doesn’t live in a silo?
  • …implement better documentation policies so materials aren’t lost?
  • …help allies understand how to support victims?
  • …help victims have the confidence to come forward?
  • …guarantee that personal e-mails will not be posted publicly?
  • …help victims/allies mitigate the losses that come from making hard decisions?
  • …teach con goers how we take their safety seriously?
  • …teach con goers what to do next if something should happen?
  • …address what proper resolutions are and how they should be implemented?
  • …leverage our social communities better to review our convention attendance?
  • …help con runners decide how to implement training for their staff?
  • …help con runners understand how important it is to have the right people on staff to handle this?

I am 100% certain there are other questions I am missing, as I am speaking through the lens of my experiences. Regardless, I feel that the first step is to ask questions like these before they can be answered. Then, we need to have those hard discussions to take additional steps.

For your con, these questions may have already been addressed. If so, great! Then, I feel we need to take that a step further by sharing that knowledge.

Publishing Reference Materials

In terms of implementation methods to address the aforementioned questions, I was shocked to learn that there aren’t a lot of books on the subject of running conventions, convention safety, etc. There is a universe of well-established, knowledgeable convention runners who have volunteered for decades and know what it takes to run a safe, fun con. That knowledge is essential to preserve past lessons and help present and future volunteers learn from their mistakes.

To that end, I feel that our massive, lumbering community (e.g. games/comics/fiction) needs books that are relevant to our interests for attendees, con runners, panelists, and guests. There are many books related to event planning and community management through a business or charity context, but none (as far as I could tell) in our vertical.

Most of the information I found, thanks to ye Olde Google, was published online in articles, but the information that needs to be relayed cannot fit in “a” blog post. I, personally, feel it’s well past time that this knowledge gets collated and published. This, too, is not something I can do by myself; I don’t have the knowledge to write such books, unfortunately. To me, though, it seems like a way to help regain some assurances going forward that this crucial piece of knowledge is being archived and shared.

If you have existing reference material suggestions or further thoughts, please feel free to chime in here or kick off further discussion elsewhere. This post is very rough, and I’m certain I’m missing a lot. I want to move on, however, and looking ahead is one way for me to do that.

Comments will be moderated.



April 13, 2017
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