It’s (Winter) Not Over Yet and Productivity Reflections

Lord Lardbottom, an orange tabby polydactal manx cat, in a Cuddle Pile

Now is the winter of my discontent for it is cold and white and terribly unpleasing. I enjoy the seasons, when we have four of them, but the spring and fall months seem to get shorter every year due to climate change. Last year, we had an eternal winter, a polar vortex so cold hell froze over, and about two weeks of spring before the temperatures climbed. I’m looking forward to more light in the day in any case.

Winter also brings a fresh round of To Do lists and goals I want to achieve, the type that are within my control and power to control. With the focus on productivity, however, an old and malformed tree has begun to bloom, for this tree–call it Work–is tied to how I view myself in my darkest moments. Its blossoms of self-doubt attract birds that cry: “Are you doing enough?” It’s the “enough” part that’s the challenge for me, because every time I open a new project I feel like I’m at the beginning and I’m starting over again and again. It doesn’t matter where I’ve been, for that’s behind me. My destination is the only thing that does.

Unfortunately, that type of thinking leads to toxicity for one very simple reason: None of us are machines. We are human beings. Life happens! Most people I know are doing the best they can. As I’ve mentioned several times before, Americans aren’t great at talking about failure and loss until we’re on the other side of it. Whether that’s out of fear because we’re deemed unlucky or not, failure and loss are part of our journeys. We desperately need discussions about them because they help people figure out ways to cope. Most people don’t just climb the proverbial career ladder in one trip. Some people don’t want to climb the ladder. Some get climbed over or pushed down. Sometimes the rung is broken. That doesn’t mean that the person who reaches the top was smarter, faster, better–and yet, the social zeitgeist favors “a” story. Someone had a dream, they worked their ass off, and they became wildly successful. It’s the work, you see, that made them what they are. If you just work hard enough, you’ll get there.

This, too, is incredibly toxic because it implies that every dream is possible provided you apply enough effort. What’s wrong with that? The emphasis on “you”. That it’s your fault if you don’t succeed because there’s something wrong or broken or different about you. You get sick, someone dies, your company shuts down, your rent goes up, you get into a car accident–none of which are your fault. Your identity and the things that happen to you don’t acknowledge the big picture; they don’t recognizing systems of power that impact you, too. You didn’t get the job. Okay, that sucks. Why? You didn’t get the job because that position went to the manager’s nephew, instead. All of a sudden, when you start recognizing that pattern or the details, you notice just how much is out of your control. That’s why the myth of personal responsibility in a society filled with millions of people can and does negatively impact us from time to time. If only I didn’t… If only I weren’t so… If only I… Sometimes, you could do all the right things and nothing works out; that doesn’t make you a failure.

So what’s the solution to dealing with those conceits? Besides not listening? I think that’s different for everyone. Our coping mechanisms evolve as we grow and change, too. My solution is to re-frame what I’m doing as a marathon. Right now, I’m tracking my tasks instead of time or word count. Every time I do something related to my personal goals I write that item down in a journal. Over time, I’m building up a log of all those little things I’m doing for myself. Those tasks are written down and dated so I remember in those uncomfortable moments that yes, I am making progress.

If you’re reading this and struggling right now, please know you’re not alone. I don’t know you or your situation, of course! However, if you’re feeling bad because you’re not doing enough? Maybe, you are.

Gratitude Writing Exercise and a Casserole Recipe to Save Time

Heya! I want to blog a bit more. As I mentioned in my newsletter, I have NO idea what that means or what form that will take, in part because all of my sage advice can be summed up thusly: Do what works for you. I trust you will figure it out. If you don’t know what works for you, experiment to find those results. (I write this with no irony whatsoever… None at all…) It is the way. There may be a lot of discussion about the “right” way to make art, but there isn’t one singular process that works for everyone.

Today, as I embark on a new manuscript, I am reminded why I did not start this particular story before. Two reasons. First, I wasn’t ready to. And second? I have no idea what is going to happen after it’s done. I don’t mean this in a “Oh, that’s just how the business works!” sort of a way. I mean there’s a good possibility it might not find a home and it shall gather dust on a shelf and be forgotten. Or, the exact opposite could happen. It’s a crap shoot. Experienced novelists used to writing for themselves will likely read this and know exactly where I am right now with respect to my personal storytelling. I’ve been here before, multiple times, but never like this. This story requires the kind of trust I didn’t have before. The faith that this story needs to be told even if it’s never read by another living soul.

I have what I need now, because eventually I figured out I had to make peace with the unknown. My current status allows me to carve time out of my day to work on something for myself and it’s uncomfortable as f***. TRUTH BOMB!

Gratitude Writing Exercise

To help me remain focused, my friend Shveta Thakrar has a wonderful writing exercise we use to ground ourselves before writing.

Simply, list five things you’re grateful for. It’s quick and takes far less time than an A-to-Z gratitude exercise would. Having those five things in writing really crystallizes things you’re happy about and it does help when venturing off into the unknown.

Ham and Green Chili Casserole

Winter is a great time to make casseroles. They are also good for another reason–they help carve out time so you can write. The prep for this mega-Midwestern casserole takes about ten minutes. You can make this for breakfast or have it for dinner.

Ingredients

1 pound cubed ham
1 pound sour cream
1 16oz container fried onions
1 pound shredded cheddar
1 4oz can diced green chiles
Large bag frozen potatoes (cubed)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Mix the ham, sour cream, cheddar, and chiles together in a bowl. Spray nonstick cooking oil in a 9 x 13 pan. Spread the potatoes down first in a layer. Then, take your goop (that’s a professional term, by the way) and spread the mixture evenly across the potatoes.

Bake the casserole for thirty minutes uncovered on the middle rack. Remove, then spread the fried onions across the top. Place back in the oven for twenty minutes.

Serves an army.

Mark the Date for sub-Q Magazine’s February Issue!

Hello readers,

I am thrilled to announce that I have a brand new interactive fiction game coming out in Sub-Q Magazine‘s February 2020 issue!

sub-Q February 2020 announcement

All games in the issue have an environmental theme; mine is a watery one. The working title of my piece is “Underwater Memories”. Stewart C. Baker has been a joy to collaborate with for edits and I’ve been having fun with Twine. I can’t wait to share this story with you.

Curious about interactive fiction? Check out sub-Q’s interactive fiction archives and have fun! These narrative games are a blast to play!

Critiquing The Witcher Season 1

Heya,

I’m over at FlamesRising.com talking about magic and motherhood in The Witcher Season One. Here’s a quote from the first part of my article:

“In fantasy worldbuilding, there are a few components to designing magic: where magic comes from, if magic is renewable or limited, how magic is accessed, if magic usage is regulated, and lastly, what magic is used for.” — Magic and Motherhood in The Witcher Season One

I hope you enjoy my deep dive into magic! ‘Til next time!

My 2019 List of Publications

Hello everyone! 2019 was quite the interesting year. Instead of waxing poetically about it for hours on end, I am summing it up with an image of a big fish. Said fish has eaten several other fishes, and is currently being skewered in the gut by a fisherman, whilst other fishermen, who are mere peasants enjoying the spoils of their own efforts, witness said undertaking in their tiny boat. The illustration is by Pieter Bruegel the Elder and is literally called “Big Fishes Eat Little Fishes” (1556).

Pieter Bruegel the Elder | Big Fish Eat Little Fishes | 1556 C.E.

My list of publications is short this year. I published two stories, one of which included the backdrop for a solo card game–super fun! Plus, a fun character for charity-related purposes. Had a blast overall, especially with A. Happy Gnome!

Stories

“Arrows, Blood, and a Long Overdue Cat Nap”, TALES OF EXCELLENT CATS for Monarchies of Mau, 2019, Onyx Path Publishing/Pugsteady

“Only the Strongest has the Heart of a Wizened Queen”, PROVING GROUNDS card game, 2019, Renegade Games

Games

A HAPPY GNOME for ExtraLife Charity, Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, 2019, DMsGuild.com

Thus far, it does look like I’ll be light on announcements through the end of 2020 as the calendar winds down. More news as winter ripens. Hope you had a fantastic year! And, if you didn’t, I hope you’ve retained your inner fire. We’ll all need it to get through the elections.

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