Out of all the networking activities that you can do, the hardest concept to deal with is the green monster. I’m talking about jealousy, of course, that destructive force that can sabotage your career and take down other talented people right along with it.

While there is healthy and unhealthy competition, a lot of times what jealousy boils down to is not necessarily whether or not you’re jealous–but how you react to different situations.

For example, say you have a fellow writer who perhaps isn’t as experienced as you are, or doesn’t have as many publications as you do. For whatever reason, you are on an unlucky streak, unable to get anything published–or written–for weeks. Then, your comrade-in-words announces they’ve signed “the” deal, the one you’ve been waiting for.

It is absolutely normal to feel jealous of other people who advance their creative careers. There is a lot of competition in the creative fields, and it has become increasingly difficult to break into those areas successfully. In order to devote yourself to a creative industry, you have to be passionate and dedicated about what you’re doing–something that can take a toll on relationships with other people.

You can turn your jealousy around by channeling that negative energy into something positive. Instead of calling your fellow peers a host of slurs, congratulate them on their success and motivate yourself through their “wins.” Remember, the more time you spend ranting about someone else’s work–the less time you have to think critically and be smart about your own efforts.

Overcoming jealousy is essential to networking and, unfortunately, since this is a basic human emotion, some people will get over it and some people won’t. What does that mean for you? It means that if someone shuts you off because they’re acting like they are in the 6th grade, you deal with that situation in your own way, and then find other writers to network with.

Writing is competitive, yes, but careers are wholly unpredictable and hard to plan. You may think you’re on the path to becoming the next Neil Gaiman, when in fact your book may never see the light of day. On the flip side, you could be the next J.K. Rowling, even with a delay in your career. Because of that, it not only pays to be nice, it is essential that you understand which of your writing peers support you and which ones don’t. Having a basic comprehension of the people around you gives you the opportunity to tap into a support and resource network, something that can exist outside of the competition.